Thoughts in words

My fate is definitely to suffer, suffer for those who don´t belong in my world, for those who don´t care, those who don´t like me.

If they only fought, the same way I would fight, for a painful feeling, stronger than my strengths, which burns and is stubborn, which doesn´t want to leave, when I´m always trying to get rid of it, rip it off from my body, soul and heart, releasing it from my deepest being, so I can go on living and falling in love over again and again, in the near future. This is love, love at first sight. But it´s long trapped...in a world of disbelief and fear, fear of being hurt, of falling into a deeper state of consciousness, of realization that sometimes, the person you want the most and you love the dearest, will not be by your side, will not share the skin, the mouth, the breath, the tenderness, the urges, the sexual desires, the craziness, the laughter, the will to fulfil one´s dreams, one´s happiness, one´s soul.

I do not usually pretend. I want the real, but the real me wants the real you, with no limits or excuses, the whole, not a piece and that´s why I choose to leave. I do not content myself with a moment, with one day, with one experience. I want your body, mind and soul. I want to be part of something greater than myself, I want someone that pushes me to my limits, someone that will love me for who I really am, regardless of my qualities or flaws, someone that will understand my being and respect my feelings, my soul.

I can´t go back time, but I need to make a choice. If I can´t have you, I will leave. I don´t want to leave, but I have to. Seems stupid, but true. Remember one thing, you have always been in my thought, day and night, in every second of my life, since the moment I first saw you and I have truly desired you in the most inconvenient ways. 

Contradição

Estou bem. Feliz. Alegre. Não finjo!

De repente, viro-me e vejo-te. O meu coração dispara! Sinto um nó cá dentro, um palpitar mais acelerado. Fico triste... Por te ver e relembrar do que ficou para trás. Da mágoa que quebrou aquele cristal, já estilhaçado mas colado em pedaços. Suspiro! Faço que nada é comigo. Evito o teu olhar bobo, o qual nem tu percebes que o tens, nem possivelmente entendes. Suspiro de novo e penso: Tenho de fugir daqui! 

Aguento mais um bocadinho para não dar nas vistas, faço de tudo para não ter que encontrar os teus olhos de novo. Começo então a sentir uma imensa saudade de estar a teu lado e de te ter perto de mim! Contraditório não é? Mas eu tenho de me amar mais do que isso! Sou sensível de mais para ti. Mas também sou forte o suficiente para saber aquilo que quero! E por vezes, não podemos ter tudo o que queremos.

O espaço torna-se demasiado pequeno para nós os dois...

Vou-me embora!

This Is How We Date Now

"We realize that this more we want is a lie. We want phone calls. We want to see a face we love

absent of the blue dim of a phone screen. We want slowness. We want simplicity. We want a life that does not need the validation of likes, favorites, comments, upvotes. We may not know yet that we want this, but we do. We want connection, true connection. We want a love that builds, not a love that gets discarded for the next hit. We want to come home to people. We want to lay down our heads at the end of our lives and know we lived well, we lived the fuck out of our lives. This is what we want even if we don’t know it yet.

Yet, this is not how we date now. This is not how we love now. "

Read more here.

By Jamie Varon

Source: http://thoughtcatalog.com/