My fate is
definitely to suffer, suffer for those who don´t belong in my world, for those
who don´t care, those who don´t like me.
If they
only fought, the same way I would fight, for a painful feeling, stronger than
my strengths, which burns and is stubborn, which doesn´t want to leave, when
I´m always trying to get rid of it, rip it off from my body, soul and heart,
releasing it from my deepest being, so I can go on living and falling in love
over again and again, in the near future. This is love, love at first sight.
But it´s long trapped...in a world of disbelief and fear, fear of being hurt,
of falling into a deeper state of consciousness, of realization that sometimes,
the person you want the most and you love the dearest, will not be by your
side, will not share the skin, the mouth, the breath, the tenderness, the
urges, the sexual desires, the craziness, the laughter, the will to fulfil
one´s dreams, one´s happiness, one´s soul.
I do not
usually pretend. I want the real, but the real me wants the real you, with no
limits or excuses, the whole, not a piece and that´s why I choose to leave. I
do not content myself with a moment, with one day, with one experience. I want
your body, mind and soul. I want to be part of something greater than myself, I
want someone that pushes me to my limits, someone that will love me for who I
really am, regardless of my qualities or flaws, someone that will understand my
being and respect my feelings, my soul.
I can´t go
back time, but I need to make a choice. If I can´t have you, I will leave. I
don´t want to leave, but I have to. Seems stupid, but true. Remember one thing,
you have always been in my thought, day and night, in every second of my life, since the moment I first saw you and I have truly desired you
in the most inconvenient ways.
